Some said it’s a poor representation of mentally ill people, some said the male protagonist was the problem and some said all the female characters read the same. I say, that was the exact point!

Hi, welcome to another book review. If you’re new here, please know that we don’t believe in spoiler free reviews. You’d just pick up the book and not search for reviews if you were not looking for spoilers. Now that we’re on the same page, let’s get into it.

I would like to thank GreenLeaf Audiobooks for kindly providing the audiobook via NetGalley for me to read.

This thriller is set in Tuscon, Arizona. I love books that have the setting play a role in the plot and this was exactly that. Author Eden Hart is in Tuscon for her book reading and Kat, employee of the bookstore venue and struggling author is her airport pickup. This is how the book begins and the amount of foreshadowing in the first chapter blows the readers mind by the end.

This story is, however, about Kat. She is writing her memoir and channeling her difficult childhood of bouncing from one foster home to another in her book. This is her debut novel. Her idol, Carol, another author lives in the same city and Kat is actually roommates with her daughter Jess. Kat studied at UoA and missed the classes Carol taught but this is her chance to make an introduction and, more importantly, an impression. But somebody else is eager to make an impression too.

Enter Jess’ brother, Jacob. Hot is his only positive characteristic.

Jess warns Kat off her brother, tells her how he has done this before with her friends and no one has ever really lasted. But Kat is a foregone conclusion. Jacob is her first love, first real boyfriend, first everything. But Kat is an unreliable narrator throughout. Anything she says about herself, even before the readers are brought in on the lies, she is lying.

Jacob finds her to be perfect. Until she has a mild meltdown about him leaving the city with his brother for more than a month almost without telling her. He blames her for overreacting to the news. His brother’s girlfriend is invited on the trip but isn’t coming with them. Kat, on the other hand, hears about the trip from the girlfriend. Sure, she is the problem, classic gaslighting.

This keeps happening as frustrations build in Kat’s professional career and she is unable to check her emotions. Her manuscript isn’t being accepted by anyone, even after Carol gushed about it and made introductions in the industry. The relationship comes to a boiling point when upon returning from his trip, Jacob buys a dump of a house with the intention to flip it.

Did I mention Jacob lived with his mother, is almost 30 and doesn’t really have a career?

Yes, so Kat flips out and Jacob breaks up with her immediately. He has been contemplating this for a while, in his defense. His brother and her girlfriend don’t approve of Kat after the whole debacle about the trip as well and he just thinks it is too much drama. The man needs his freedom after all.

Kat, unable to deal with the breakup, begins stalking Jacob and all the family members. She moves out from the apartment she was sharing with Jess and starts living in the bookstore she works at and is kind of homeless. These people, Carol, Jacob and Jess, do not attempt to check in on her or anything. They term her “a person with issues” and count their blessings that they are done with her.

Kat tries to drown herself with a pocket full of stones in Carol’s pool. Carol saves her and tries to insert herself into her life to be a literary mentor to Kat. Why? Her son led to this. Her literary career is drowning and the association with this interesting new writer might give her some limelight again. But Kat is really unwell. She gets diagnosed and has proper help now. But that means she is getting her life together and Carol can’t do much about it. Carol starts to distance herself.

The bookstore Kat works at steps in, offers her employment despite her behavior and a place to stay.

Meanwhile, Jacob has flipped that home and is falling in love with his first client. How he has a client you might ask? The top real estate agent found him and offered to sponsor his license. Got his flip on their website and helped spread the word around. Oh, to be a man and having everything handed to you in life!

This first client is Eden Hart from chapter one and she is onboard with falling in love with her realtor. He mentions a psycho ex when she mentions her dead fiance but that’s all he says about Kat in forever.

Kat is off her meds and obsessed with Jacob still. Her book is accepted by an agent and a publishing house but she remembers Eden and is appalled by how Eden has it all, specifically, all that Kat was supposed to have. Then begins the manipulation and poisoning. Kat manipulates Jacob into thinking he’s still into her, which wasn’t difficult, there are a few kisses that he doesn’t tell her current girlfriend. And Kat starts poisoning Eden with her prescribed meds. This makes Eden lethargic and depressed. Jacob wants to break it off with Eden because who wants to deal with “drama” even though he was convinced that Eden is THE ONE for him two chapters ago.

Kat’s plans are discovered and Eden forgives her as long as she goes away and never comes back. While a very confused Jacob argues continously that they should turn her over to the police. It is also revealed that Kat is not a foster kid after all, her parents were in a cult and she wished she was in the foster system where her parents had given up on her.

Yes, I don’t like the ending too much but that’s pretty accurate in how people with mental illnesses are dealt with in real life so I won’t go into it too much.

So most of the female characters read kind of the same because they are all writers making literary references (pocket full of stones, Virginia Woolf). But they are in different stages of their literary career. Carol has had success, teaches at the university, Eden has had a great debut book but is working on her second, and Kat is… trying. I found this to be interesting as I was looking for a book set in the publishing world or about writers after reading Yellowface.

Carol’s self-obsession even while a girl drowns in her pool is spectacularly depicted in the book. She daydreams of book deals and interviews about saving the poor girl while she waits outside the ER right after pulling Kat from her pool.

Jacob, when he hears about this suicide attempt goes on a hike, has a little cry and decides to pursue his career and the first elligible woman he comes across.

Jess is never told.

I agree that Jacob is the problem (if you hadn’t guessed yet), a whole walking red flag and the thoughtlessness portrayed in his character was moot to drive Kat over the edge. His propensity to gaslight, ghost and eventually distance himself from Kat leads to her doing the things she does. And he is never held accountable. While some may find this to be ridiculous, this is how it works in real life as well. His deflection of blame is again repeated when his new girlfriend is drugged/poisoned slowly and all he can think about is how he can disentangle himself from this new drama. He cheats, he doesn’t tell anyone about it. Mind you, he wasn’t drugged at any point in the book.

I don’t absolve Kat of all wrongdoing of course. Her mental illness, upbringing and absent parents don’t excuse her behavior. It is unavoidable that most of what she did are serious felonies. But again, it’s not like anybody offered her help in any way. I would have preferred for her to be apprehended by the law and serve out her sentence. She goes off her meds and her impulses take over. She has no one to check on her about her well-being and this was a very extreme call for attention. Growing up in a cult with cultist parents, abusive older men in the cult and nobody to turn to, this is how she coped. She built up this fantasy about having a different life and grew up to believe it.

While Kat is not a glowing representation of mentally ill people, all perpetrators in psychological thrillers are unwell. Before blaming the author for this poor representation, let’s remember most psychological thrillers do not even bring up mental illness of the “villains”.

Bell Laura Bundy’s narration gave the characters life and Hach’s experience as a screenwriter made the book very visual. I would be looking forward to reading more from her.

This book is 10/10 recommended.